summer school

So finally the schoolyear is over and summer is here. We're going to do school over the summer, but on a more relaxed basis. Without repetition, so many facts are lost, we find it easier this way. I was talking with my oldest daughter yesterday about homeschooling and some of the flack we got about it when she and her brother, now in their 20's, were kids. So many people criticize the lack of socialization. Yet so much of the school socialization is less than desirable. And the bus ride to and from school- that's a story in itself. Maybe my kids are sheltered. I kind of like it that way. I can't prevent them from being bombarded with ideas I don't approve of, but in our family, we have seen that homeschooling delays it, giving them a little more time to mature before the bombardment. Makes sense to me.

Are you serious?? Get real!!

I've been thinking lately about something a couple of people said to me. This was back awhile ago when I was having one of my "I didn't sign up for this" marriage issues. I had found out that dh had fallen into the porn addiction again, and it seemed like life as I knew it was over. When that happened, I talked with several people who I knew would understand. And they did. I was able to get lots of support, which was so helpful. Sometimes you just absolutely need other people to hold you up. You know they cannot do one thing to change your situation. Nevertheless, you somehow need to talk to them, and it keeps your head afloat. I thank God for the people in my life that I can go to in times like that, and I hope that God helps me to be there for someone too. Anyway, two or three people told me that after we got through this, dh and I may end up better than we started; we may get closer through this. I remember those words hanging in the air as if trapped between their mouth and my ears. What? My mind said, "reject!" Firstly, how will we EVER get THROUGH THIS? Then, I felt like we may, in fact, end. But not end up better. No way. Not after this. Lastly, as far as "closer" was concerned, that was even more absurd. It was obvious that dh was not interested in closeness with his family, but had instead willingly chosen to give all of us up for the images on our computer or tv screen. After a gigantic slap in the face with that reality, this "family" was pretty much demolished.
Now, I didn't say anything, but I sure remember thinking that my friends had a sudden lapse with reality or something like that. Well, it's funny now, because as I look at it, things have improved, dh has made many changes, gotten my trust back, and I believe improved himself as a man, as a dad, and in his relationship with God. It took time. I saw him find an internet course dealing with pornography addiction. He was loyal to it. I saw him opening up to other men about it and being accountable. I saw him spend a lot of time with a personal friend and elder at our church, memorizing verses and studying the bible. I saw him sticking with it. I have to respect that. We were able to talk about it. We saw the "Fireproof"movie together, and that seemed to really help dh understand how I was affected. In the end, things are better. DH is better for having gone through that, because it forced him to look at and change some of the things in his life. I have learned that the porn was a symptom. It was only when DH was willing and able to deal with the larger issues that the symptom disappeared. I also feel that I am better for having gone through this, although I am sure glad it has passed. I learned that each of our sins are more sins against God than against each other, and so, even if I am hurt, to rely on God to work the situation before I jump in to make changes. I realize how strong Satan's draw to temptation is, and how easily he can destroy families with this secret sin. But not this time. This dh got his family back. Got his relationship with God back. Got his self respect back. One for the good team.