Special Needs for 5, please

The children that we have adopted are "special needs". Medically, we deal with Klippel-Feil Syndrome, Dandy Walker Syndrome, Hirschprung's Disease, shunted Hydrocephalus, severe Scoliosis, Kyphosis, Synkinesis, Chiari Malformation, partial deafness, and one missing kidney. Learning and behavior-wise, we deal with ADHD, ADD, developmental delays, possibly Asperger's, and fetal alcohol and drug issues. Emotionally, we deal with attachment issues, pre-adoption abuses, and early puberty to boot!!
Now, the tricky part is that in reality, we ALL have our "special needs". I am organizationally challenged. I take on more than I can handle. I begin many projects, but finish few (kind of like contests that warn "many will enter, few will win")!! I don't always discipline with consistency. Oh, and I began menopause about 7 years ago at 40, and am still flashing! To top that, my husband is bi-polar (if you know what that is about, you realize what a wild ride it is), which has reared it's head often since he suffered from carbon monoxide poisoning about three years ago. He also deals with thyroid and hormonal issues from a pituitary tumor they discovered after the carbon monoxide poisoning. And of course, there's always the family, job, financial, spiritual ups and downs that we all have.
So, we are indeed a "special needs" family. All of our needs affect all of our family. But that's okay. We will all learn acceptance, compassion, and hopefully learn to laugh and cry - together. Regardless of each individual's issues, we are together a family. That's the bottom line. In the words of a very wise woman I know, "It is what it is." This nugget of wisdom helped me to understand that to wish and worry, wish and worry about things we cannot change is useless. Instead, concentrate on working around "it" with as much love, grace, and acceptance as we can muster. With prayer. God does not often erase our problems, but He will help us to cope with them.

Adoption- State, Agency, or International??

Children are available, and in need of homes in every corner of the world, including your own backyard. We have not adopted internationally, but have adopted both through a local adoption agency, and through the state of Wisconsin. Cutting to the quick, the agency adoption provided us with qualified help in getting all of the legalities accomplished, but the cost was considerably higher. Many of the incurred expenses may be covered by tax or workplace incentives, so be sure to check on those. The state adoption took longer, but the cost was next to nothing, less than $50. In the end, however, we are happy to have adopted three wonderful children into our home.

Summer is here in Wisconsin!!

Rule J: Ever hear of Joseph?

Here's one life lesson for ya. Listen and learn. Remember how I said people reacted when we decided to adopt Corey? Well, I left one out because it demonstrates Rule J. Some people said, "Oh, that is so sad that his parents didn't want to keep him." They would have an attitude of sadness for him and often one of contempt at those birth parents who "didn't want" a less than perfect child.
Now is the time to consider Joseph. Take a spin through Genesis for this amazing piece of history. Joseph was not only abandoned by his brothers, they plotted against him, almost killed him, then sold him; they then actually staged it so their father would believe that their baby brother Joseph was killed by a wild animal!! The rest of the story....Joseph's brothers travel to him in a far off land years later, where he is in a position of great power, and the brothers have been sent by the father to beg for food for their family. Joseph recognized his brothers but they don't have a clue this is the one they betrayed. In the end, the brothers realize their lives are in Joseph's hands; Joseph forgives them, the family is reunited and the lives of many are saved. Joseph says, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them." So understand that you can't see the big picture; God can. Rule J- Be careful when you judge a person or situation.

Quality time at 8

Okay, so remembering to be sure to spend a few minutes first thing in the morning spending a little "quality time" chit chatting with my kids in the morning (but not having talked to them about this; not realizing they have even heard the term "quality time"), my 8 year old interrupts my question to him about the upcoming weekend and asks, "Mom, let's have some quality time today, could you pass me my gameboy?" Well, to me it was funny. This will introduce to you my first adopted child, Corey. We took him into our home when he was 6 weeks old, I was 39, and my other children were 14 and 18. People asked, "Why would you want to start all over again?" Others said, "That's so wonderful. I knew someone who adopted..." Some, however, including our pediatrician, said, " I would really think about that first.", or "Don't adopt him, he's not healthy....", and "I have one patient with that who is in a wheelchair and cannot do anything for himself."
Corey is in my picture on your far left!!
More to come.

Welcome to my blog!!

Welcome!! I'm just getting started here, so watch for more to come. Jean